dance? not a chance!
i was hangin' at a party where i didn't wanna be, waitin' on a friend i was supposed to meet
i tried to relax, and have a good time - it weren't no fun, i couldn't unwind
i sat in a corner, a drink in my lap, i thought about leaving, or taking a nap
and i's distracted, i almost missed, the fresh little lady what grabbed my wrist
she looked up at me - she was cute - i felt bad i'd come from work, i was still in my suit
i said, uhm, how do you do, she said, come on sugar, i wanna dance with you
dance? not a chance! the hands don't leave the pockets of my polyester pants
relax? i've tried, but you should know - the root of all my problems is, i can't let go
i don't mean to be obtuse, i had a bad week, i can't get loose. dance? not a chance!
come on, honey, now what's your problem, come over here, i'll help you solve 'em
i don't care if you're mentally ill, but if you don't wanna dance, i'll find someone who will
well, she was tappin' her foot, and startin' to frown, my friend hadn't showed, and the music was loud
people were smokin', it was crowded and hot, and except for her, this party was not
if i didn't say something, she was just going to walk, and i didn't mind a little talk
but dance? not a chance!
i put down my drink as i got to my feet, i loosened my tie, left the jacket on my seat
she smiled at me, i said, listen... uh... jane?, please forgive me, and lemme explain
'spite my reluctance, i like to dance, but i had a liitle accident last year in france
a sunday in paris, a rented renault, brakes went out, i went off the road
don't worry, i'm o.k., but i'm suing the bastards, and until the day
a jury gimme money f'what happened to me, it's my hands in my pockets and butt on my seat
dance? not a chance! the hands don't leave the pockets of my polyester pants
relax? i can't, until i've won, they might get some photos of me having fun
enough about me, let's talk about you, and if there's anything else we two can do
but dance? not a chance!
well, here's the way it ended, and at least for me, the moral of the story is plain to see
you can't be too careful when caught up in lust... and if you can't trust strangers, who can you trust?
i shouldn't have told her that i was o.k., she was wearin' a wire, and got it on tape
they threw out my suit, i lost the case, so don't even ask me, 'cause here's what i'll say
dance? not a chance! the hands don't leave the pockets of my polyester pants
relax? i've tried, but you should know - the root of all my problems is, i can't let go
i don't mean to be obtuse, but it's been a bad year, and i can't get loose. dance? not a chance!
bruce: vocals, rhythm track edits
rob vlack: orig. rhythm tracks
jai uttal: guitar solo
w/ shelley higgins as 'jane'
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